Wedding Etiquette or Old Fashioned Rules?

Moment Captured by Kerry Hodge Photography

If planning your wedding wasn’t challenging enough, there’s the wedding etiquette to consider too. From whom you should invite, through to whether your MIL can make requests, and how much alcohol you should serve, you can guarantee that etiquette comes into play somewhere along the line. But event things have changed overtime, and today’s weddings are more about what works best for you both, there are some things that are still a no-no. As event and wedding planners, we’ve been asked almost every question regarding wedding etiquette you can think of. Today we’re sharing some of them with you.

Answering Your Wedding Etiquette Dilemmas

In the past, weddings were seen as business transactions. The bride and her dowry would be given to the groom, who would then take responsibility and ownership of her and her belongings. Arranged marriages were common. When parents decided to whom their children would marry based upon business interests, financial wellbeing, and connections to important people.

Wedding etiquette developed as a way of ensuring a successful wedding. These controlled every aspect from which guests to invite, what food to provide and what the newlyweds could say and do on the day. Nowadays things have changed with couples instead making decisions that suit themselves.

However, there are still somethings that you should be wary about …

  • Should you provide a free bar for your guests? You can if you want to, and it is in your budget. Some couples choose to provide drinks before dinner only, with guests paying for their own as the night goes on.
  • Do you need to have table seating plans? No, you don’t. You don’t even need to have sit down tables at your reception if you don’t want to. However, many couples still choose to create a seating plan to help them manage their reception.
  • Can the bride’s wedding dress be purple? Yes! It can be any colour you want it!
  • Should you have a dress code? Depends upon your wedding theme and venue. If you have a dress code, be sure to let guests know on your invitations.
  • Can you elope and not tell anyone? Yes! It is your wedding day.
  • Do you need to invite your guests’ children? Children at a wedding is a hard one and will depend upon your thoughts and the suitability of the venues. If guests are required to travel to attend your wedding, it is harder for them to arrange childcare than if it was local.
  • Can you ask the bride’s parents to pay for the wedding? Traditionally the bride’s parents did pay, but this should not be expected today. In fact, it would even be rude to ask them to…
  • Do you even need a wedding cake? Nope, you can have cupcakes, a cheese platter, kebabs or anything you want. It depends on whether you want to make something special about cutting your cake. Traditionally this was seen as the first job the newlyweds would do together, showing commitment for their relationship.
  • Can you ask guests for cash instead of presents? Yes, but put it nicely in the invite. Many couples provide a wishing well for guests to place cards into.

The many benefits about using the services of a wedding planner, is that we can help answer questions you have regarding wedding etiquette and planning your special day.

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